Random experiences at school and in Thailand in general written in the order in which they enter my brain- (PS these are my experiences, not the written word)
- Toilet paper is non-existent in this country. They use "bum guns" little hoses that you spray your dirty parts with. Hand soap is also few and far between.
- Thais love color, and every day of the week is associated with a color, which I have still not memorized. I think Monday is yellow.
- The beds here are rock hard!!!! My limbs fall asleep because of the lack of give in the mattress.
- Food is CHEAP. Actually everything is cheap but especially food. Lunch at school costs about 20 baht, or 60 cents.
- Plain unsweetened coffee does not exist, they are ALWAYS sweet creamy concoctions. I usually drink my coffee back home with a touch of cream and no sugar. I now have gotten used to the coffees here, and I secretly love them so hard although I've discovered an inverse correlation with how many I consume and the quality of my skin.
- People really want white skin and will avoid being in the sun as much as possible. Everyone swims fully clothed (that is, if they know how to swim, many Thais do not). Almost all skin moisturizers are skin "whiteners", meaning they have a whiteish hue. It is extremely obvious when people are wearing skin whitening creams, because the tan skin underneath comes through as almost purplish.
- Students will be straight up grooming and popping blackheads in class.
- While hanging out at our friends house, we saw a man (someone significant in Kalasin but I won't mention names) get carried out to his car by his two friends because he was so drunk he couldn't walk. They then proceeded to PUT HIM IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT, and he DROVE AWAY. This infuriated me actually. The man cannot even walk, and you then think it is a good idea to put him in control of a 2000 lb vehicle. My blood it still hot from that.
- Body hair is much more accepted here. Women tend to leave their upper lip hairs, and many do not shave their legs. It actually seems like a point of pride. Today I glanced at my own legs and said "GOLLY thats a lot of hair, time for a shave" but then said oh heck, no one cares here anyway. We had a tuk tuk driver in Khon Kaen who had this foul mole on his face and growing from it, the most impressive bush of hair. It was really quite captivating. A female coworker also has really impressive chin hairs, I'm talking like 4 to 5 inches.
- Eating bugs is totally a thing here. You can find them at many street vendor carts.
- Thais have really strange nicknames. Sometimes they will pick English words that they like the sound of, with no actual knowledge of the meaning. I've encountered Bus, Dream, Beer, Donut, Cook, Crap, Porn (many Thai names end in porn), View, Apple, Arm, Pepsi, Ozone, Stamp, Fuck, Boss, Lemon. It's pretty entertaining.
- Chickens are everywhere and roam freely, but as we all know roosters can be a bit of pain, so if their behavior is getting out of hand, they are retained in these wicker domelike structures, about 3 to 4 ft in diameter. They can still see all their fellow chicken passersby and recieve a nice breeze, it just puts hold on their rapist ways.
-For my M5's, I had them answer questions about what they like to do. When I asked one boy what he liked to do, he said with a completely straight face "fap fap". For those who don't know, this is slang for masturbation. I just nodded and smiled
-Another boy responded in complete seriousness with "I like to grow weed". Again, I was like hmm okay!
-Last week, I finished my weather unit with my M1's. I wrote a test, and before passing them out, CLEARLY explained that if they talked, or copied I would take their test away. OH MY GOD. THESE KIDS. The moment I would turn my back, chatter and furious copying would ensue. How the HELL is one teacher who speaks very little Thai, supposed to control a class of 50 seventh graders who speak very little English. You cannot, statistically, it is IMPOSSIBLE. I was as strict as I could be, and was taking tests away left and right but jimeny crickets! The level of disregard the students showed for my requests was actually rather irritating, and I felt an evil satisfaction each time I took a test away. (yes I'm awful)
-At one point this girl was just flipping me off and giggling......... I was like uhhhhhhhhhh NO. I didn't know if she understood what the gesture meant, so I took her test away and made serious faces and tones to indicate that this was not okay. But heck I didn't have the energy to pursue further punishment so oh well.
- I have had multiple students take phone calls DURING CLASS.
- SEXISM
- Creepy old falang men come here and marry cute young Thai women. It is such a thing!!!!!! They are everywhere and they are always blond, and fat and gross. We will be in the most rural places and the only white people to be found are these men. EVERYWHERE. I understand some people really do marry for love and whatnot but in general you can tell there are other motives behind the marriage cause normally there ain't no way in a hell men like these could get women like those (yes I am SO mean, I'm sorry).
- Rainy season is aptly named. Even with the drainage infrastructure, streets turn into rivers. I was recording a video of it, and these hooligans rode by on their mopeds and splashed water all over me!!!!!! (I loved it) My bathroom has flooded a few times, drenching my toilet paper supplies... cool. I have also heard that critters come up through the drains to say hello (mainly frogs). I have yet to encounter this.
- Along with dogs, cockroaches run the streets at night. I'm not even kidding. I will just be walking down the street and see like 10 crossing the road. And I'm talking honkin cockroaches the kind that will really crunch when you step on it by accident as it runs underneath your foot. (I have yet to encounter this)
- Basically just living each day in Thailand, one produces COPIOUS amounts of plastic waste. It is simply shocking. Items are rarely sold in bulk and even the things sold in bulk, such as crackers, are INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED, what is this???? So for breakfast if I just want yogurt and peanuts, I will have a yogurt cup, and a bag of like 10 peanuts, which had I not protested would have been in a plastic bag with a plastic wrapped plastic spoon. Our office sometimes provides instant coffee, and you guessed it, individually wrapped spawn of satans. Unfortunately there is a lack of education about these issues, so most people aren't aware of the profound impact they make every single day. I often try and imagine a gigantic dump truck filled with all the trash Thailand produced that day, and how much land area it would cover. I don't think I could even begin to fathom that.
- The BANE of my existence. PLASTIC BAGS. BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS. This country LOVE PLASTIC BAGS and it hurts my heart. It is such a struggle.. They will give you a bag for anything. When you buy a pen, when you buy a chocolate bar, when you buy fruit that has already been bagged in one bag, but they want to make sure you have extra support so they then bag that bag. Oh. my. god. Last week, I bought an iced coffee, and no surprise, they put it in a plastic bag, I said oh what the hell fine, so I was biking on along to school, I go over a speed bump and the bag rips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You just put this foul awful thing that is a plastic bag into the wor4ld for approximately 2 minutes only to have it rip and spill my coffee in front of all my students. GREAT, REAL GREAT. I can't, I just can't. (side note- apparently it is becoming trendy to have your ice coffee bagged, which is then placed in a paper bag, which is then placed in another plastic bag ..... I mean... is this a joke????) And usually I am able to indicate that I do not want a bag, and when I do, they look taken aback, sometimes positively offended. It's like bagging things is ingrained into the genetic code. When I first got here it really really bothered me, because the bags are so very temporary yet they have such lasting, and damaging effects. I have gotten more used to it, but any time I can avoid them I do.
- The photos you see of rice fields in Thailand? Those are accurate. The area surrounding Kalasin is simply beautiful.
- Water buffalos are awfully cute.
- Thais have beautiful bone structure and good skin.
- Super ornate, colorful temples are found everywhere, along with ENORMOUS Buddhas, like 60 feet tall kind of enormous.
So there you have it, some observations that I could have never even fathomed before coming here.
- Toilet paper is non-existent in this country. They use "bum guns" little hoses that you spray your dirty parts with. Hand soap is also few and far between.
- Thais love color, and every day of the week is associated with a color, which I have still not memorized. I think Monday is yellow.
- The beds here are rock hard!!!! My limbs fall asleep because of the lack of give in the mattress.
- Food is CHEAP. Actually everything is cheap but especially food. Lunch at school costs about 20 baht, or 60 cents.
- Plain unsweetened coffee does not exist, they are ALWAYS sweet creamy concoctions. I usually drink my coffee back home with a touch of cream and no sugar. I now have gotten used to the coffees here, and I secretly love them so hard although I've discovered an inverse correlation with how many I consume and the quality of my skin.
- People really want white skin and will avoid being in the sun as much as possible. Everyone swims fully clothed (that is, if they know how to swim, many Thais do not). Almost all skin moisturizers are skin "whiteners", meaning they have a whiteish hue. It is extremely obvious when people are wearing skin whitening creams, because the tan skin underneath comes through as almost purplish.
- Students will be straight up grooming and popping blackheads in class.
- While hanging out at our friends house, we saw a man (someone significant in Kalasin but I won't mention names) get carried out to his car by his two friends because he was so drunk he couldn't walk. They then proceeded to PUT HIM IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT, and he DROVE AWAY. This infuriated me actually. The man cannot even walk, and you then think it is a good idea to put him in control of a 2000 lb vehicle. My blood it still hot from that.
- Body hair is much more accepted here. Women tend to leave their upper lip hairs, and many do not shave their legs. It actually seems like a point of pride. Today I glanced at my own legs and said "GOLLY thats a lot of hair, time for a shave" but then said oh heck, no one cares here anyway. We had a tuk tuk driver in Khon Kaen who had this foul mole on his face and growing from it, the most impressive bush of hair. It was really quite captivating. A female coworker also has really impressive chin hairs, I'm talking like 4 to 5 inches.
- Eating bugs is totally a thing here. You can find them at many street vendor carts.
- Thais have really strange nicknames. Sometimes they will pick English words that they like the sound of, with no actual knowledge of the meaning. I've encountered Bus, Dream, Beer, Donut, Cook, Crap, Porn (many Thai names end in porn), View, Apple, Arm, Pepsi, Ozone, Stamp, Fuck, Boss, Lemon. It's pretty entertaining.
- Chickens are everywhere and roam freely, but as we all know roosters can be a bit of pain, so if their behavior is getting out of hand, they are retained in these wicker domelike structures, about 3 to 4 ft in diameter. They can still see all their fellow chicken passersby and recieve a nice breeze, it just puts hold on their rapist ways.
-For my M5's, I had them answer questions about what they like to do. When I asked one boy what he liked to do, he said with a completely straight face "fap fap". For those who don't know, this is slang for masturbation. I just nodded and smiled
-Another boy responded in complete seriousness with "I like to grow weed". Again, I was like hmm okay!
-Last week, I finished my weather unit with my M1's. I wrote a test, and before passing them out, CLEARLY explained that if they talked, or copied I would take their test away. OH MY GOD. THESE KIDS. The moment I would turn my back, chatter and furious copying would ensue. How the HELL is one teacher who speaks very little Thai, supposed to control a class of 50 seventh graders who speak very little English. You cannot, statistically, it is IMPOSSIBLE. I was as strict as I could be, and was taking tests away left and right but jimeny crickets! The level of disregard the students showed for my requests was actually rather irritating, and I felt an evil satisfaction each time I took a test away. (yes I'm awful)
-At one point this girl was just flipping me off and giggling......... I was like uhhhhhhhhhh NO. I didn't know if she understood what the gesture meant, so I took her test away and made serious faces and tones to indicate that this was not okay. But heck I didn't have the energy to pursue further punishment so oh well.
- I have had multiple students take phone calls DURING CLASS.
- SEXISM
- rather than the most logical least biased form of creating a roll sheet in alphabetical order, all the boys are listed first and then the girls,what is this???
- There are proportionally SOO MANY ladyboys at our school! It makes me wonder if that is the statistical average everywhere but kids in other countries cannot express themselves, or if it is something about Thailand.
- Students have recorded and taken photos of me while teaching, without my knowledge. Very possible I'm in some Thai students youtube videos potentially title "Falang teacher makes funny faces" or something of the like.
- There are proportionally SOO MANY ladyboys at our school! It makes me wonder if that is the statistical average everywhere but kids in other countries cannot express themselves, or if it is something about Thailand.
- Students have recorded and taken photos of me while teaching, without my knowledge. Very possible I'm in some Thai students youtube videos potentially title "Falang teacher makes funny faces" or something of the like.
- Students are required to remove their shoes upon entering any building, so all my classes learn in their socks.
- The moment I get home from school, I remove all clothing and starfish on my bed for many hours.
- Most toilets are in the shower, as in, there is one room with no divider and everything gets drenched. Initially, I found this to be foul, but then realized that every shower is an opportunity to hose down and clean the place, it's great!
- This country likes sugar, everything is SO SWEET, and at all restaurants, there are pots of sugar at each table to put on all dishes, savory and sweet alike.
- The region I'm in is known for its rice especially sticky rice, and I must agree, I LOVE STICKY RICE. It is kept in this straw basket thing, and you take a chunk with your hands and roll it into a ball and then dip it in whatever sauce you like.
- The moment I get home from school, I remove all clothing and starfish on my bed for many hours.
- Most toilets are in the shower, as in, there is one room with no divider and everything gets drenched. Initially, I found this to be foul, but then realized that every shower is an opportunity to hose down and clean the place, it's great!
- This country likes sugar, everything is SO SWEET, and at all restaurants, there are pots of sugar at each table to put on all dishes, savory and sweet alike.
- The region I'm in is known for its rice especially sticky rice, and I must agree, I LOVE STICKY RICE. It is kept in this straw basket thing, and you take a chunk with your hands and roll it into a ball and then dip it in whatever sauce you like.
- Thai people really enjoy eating unripe fruit, green mango is a common snack here, and once you view it separately from a ripe mango, it is actually super delicious, crunchy and tart.
- Feeding fish at the communal lake is a popular past time here. There are vendors who sell fish food and bread chunks, and young amd old alike will gather round the lakes edge to watch the water boil as 100s of fish writhe for food.
- Thai's have a strange fascination with Nazis. A friend was in a store in Bangkok and there were a bunch of posters of famous people with inspirational quotes including Hitler..... fabulous. They also have a fried chicken chain called Hitler... What?!?!?!? This indicates that history is probably not accurately being recounted here in Thailand (obviously history is always biased, but if a country is idolizing Hitler, there is some info missing). My theory is that the Thai's like the Nazi's ceremonial practices, propaganda, etc.
- There is drunken Tuk Tuk driver here in Kalasin who is in love with me. The moment we got off the bus from Bangkok that first day, he started blabbing in Thai and bought me a water bottle. I see him often, one time he saw me in the street and pulled over and tried to hug me and give me a smooch. He is not aggressive, he just says hello, blabs a bit in Thai and does something kind like offer me fried fish or put a straw in my water.
- As many of you know, Thailand eats ALL of an animal. Since being here I have eaten a fish eye, a scorpion, chicken liver, chicken feet, and a duck head. It all tasted like chicken lol.
- Thai music is really corny!!! Often times you will hear covers of pop songs that literally sound like elevator music, its pretty lolz
- More often not then not there are ants in your food. You get used to it.
- Feeding fish at the communal lake is a popular past time here. There are vendors who sell fish food and bread chunks, and young amd old alike will gather round the lakes edge to watch the water boil as 100s of fish writhe for food.
- Thai's have a strange fascination with Nazis. A friend was in a store in Bangkok and there were a bunch of posters of famous people with inspirational quotes including Hitler..... fabulous. They also have a fried chicken chain called Hitler... What?!?!?!? This indicates that history is probably not accurately being recounted here in Thailand (obviously history is always biased, but if a country is idolizing Hitler, there is some info missing). My theory is that the Thai's like the Nazi's ceremonial practices, propaganda, etc.
- There is drunken Tuk Tuk driver here in Kalasin who is in love with me. The moment we got off the bus from Bangkok that first day, he started blabbing in Thai and bought me a water bottle. I see him often, one time he saw me in the street and pulled over and tried to hug me and give me a smooch. He is not aggressive, he just says hello, blabs a bit in Thai and does something kind like offer me fried fish or put a straw in my water.
- As many of you know, Thailand eats ALL of an animal. Since being here I have eaten a fish eye, a scorpion, chicken liver, chicken feet, and a duck head. It all tasted like chicken lol.
- Thai music is really corny!!! Often times you will hear covers of pop songs that literally sound like elevator music, its pretty lolz
- More often not then not there are ants in your food. You get used to it.
- Insulting the monarchy is forbidden.
- People are generally very very kind.
- When you think Thai salads, you think lime, cilantro ginger goodness right???? Well I have yet to find such a thing in this part of Thailand. Without fail, the dressing served with EVERY salad is this strange yellowish super sweet mayonnaise like substance, in other words, disgusting. The salads themselves are good, the dressing is just a real bummer. I managed to find some balsamic dressing at Tesco which I use instead.
- The stoplights here are definitely strange. Below the light is a timer so you can see how long you will be waiting, although traffic is confusing and I still have yet to figure it out fully. It seems to come from all directions at all times. Traffic rules are more of a suggestion than a law.
- Sidewalks are rather inconsistent. They are there one moment and then disappear the next. Because Thailand receives so much rain, they are also hollow, so water can drain down beneath them, which adds some hazards. I was walking in Kon Khaen last weekend, it was dark and I was snaking my way through a bunch of mopeds and I tripped on the sidewalk. I thought nothing of it, but as I continued walking I felt my toe getting wet. I put my foot in the light and my sandal is bathed in blood. So much that it glowed red against my black sandal. I have no idea what happened but moral of the story is that sidewalks wreak havoc.
- I have seen more geckos than bugs here. They are EVERYWHERE at all times. There seem to be two main types that I have seen. The cute little ones that only seem to grow about five inches long, and can be found at all light bulbs and the giant Tokay geckos. OMG google these creatures, they are so creepy (beautiful but creepy)!!!! They are bright blue and orange and have huge yellow eyes, and they make this noise "TO-KAY, TO-KAY" When I was having my insomnia days, I first hallucinated that there was one over my bed ( I tend to hallucinate when I am half asleep), then auditory hallucinated its creepy call, and I freaked out and ran out of my room. Now some of you are saying, Neens it probably was in your room. No it was not, I searched high and low.
- Snack flavors here are WEIRD. They have squid flavored chips, seaweed flavored chips, red bean buns (a sweet red bean paste in a bun), sweet dried cherry tomatoes, and a whole lot of others things I can't think of right now. Oh and there are NO healthy snack options. I walk through the rows of food at the school store and every single item has the nutritional benefits of cardboard with a few table spoons of sugar.
- Bananas grow wild in the forest.
- It appears most Thai restaurants offer the EXACT SAME DISHES ALWAYS. There really is not much variety in the cuisine here. When you go out to eat the waiters will promptly come to your table and wait for you to make a decision. We suspect it is because most Thai people already know what they want because all Thai restaurants are the same. This also happens when you are shopping in stores, the employee will literally stand 2 feet away from you, silently gazing at you. You just gotta go wit it.
- That reminds me, EVERYONE STARESSSSSSSS AT YOU. EVERYONE, ALWAYS. Man, woman, child, dog, cat, gecko, cockroach. And not a subtle stare, like a slowing of the car, full 180 degree head rotation kind of stare.
- People are obsessed with Facebook. Kids update their statuses hourly and post SO MANY SELFIES. Everyone likes every single post of everybody, so these Thai students have like 200 likes on a status about eating, or a feeling sad, it's pretty ridiculous.
- Seven eleven is like this strange Godsend that I never knew I would appreciate so much. They have all these super random weird services that are so so useful! We get payed in cash, mainly in 1000 Baht bills, and no one will break them cause they are so big, but 7 will!! Also you can buy plane tickets online and then pay for them in cash at 7. They are open 24/7 and always blessedly air-conditioned. If you are working in Thailand you need to report to the immigration office every 90 days, but now 7 is taking on that responsibility and apparently you can report there instead. Which is nice cause there is a 7 on most street corners.
- Thai's have really nailed many many food dishes, but baked goods are not one of them. They are usually very dry and crumbly. They do have the strangest deserts though. Lots of weird gelatinous rice things. They also have like a sweet soup, the broth is coconut milk, and then there are chunks of like jelly and sweet roots, it sounds disgusting but it is actually super good.
- I don't think people here have heard of floor lamps. All lighting is provided by the heinous harsh glare of 3 foot fluorescent lightbulbs, always, everywhere.
- A traditional Isan(the region I am in) meal consists sticky rice, Som Tam (green papaya salad), grilled chicken, a whole grilled fish that has been crusted in salt and then bbqued, super delish, some yummy dipping sauces, rice noodles, a basket of greens( lettuce, cabbage, basil, green onions) that are meant to be dipped in the sauce, and a bottle of coke. Everyone takes small portions and shares everything. I have really grown fond of this meal.
- Street dogs run the streets. It's literally just like gangs. Dogs have their territories and their friends and they will defend them. Especially when everyone is in heat and hornier than a rabbit on Easter. As some of you saw, I was chased by a few, and I have found the more you speed up, the more they have a desire to kill. So I have found toodeling by at a slow, unoffensive speed seems to be most effective
- Like I wrote in some other posts, Thai nightclubs are the weirdest. The room is set up with tons of little tables that you stand around, and drink bad drinks and look around. Half of the night, they will play live music (still adjusting to Thai music.... here is a link of a popular song right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flnk4A69_4A&list=PL3W0gfvebxGO1Gl3uXTRnvSzMNGhJczSd&index=1) and half the night they will play dj stuff. I must admit the DJ sets are usually really catchy and super fun to dance to, which would be great and all IF THERE WAS A DANCEFLOOR. People, there is no dance floor at most Thai night clubs........ WHErE IS THE LOGIC, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE. So yea, the main reason I like going out is to dance, so it's a real bummer.
- They love sweetened condensed milk, period. On everything and in everything.
- No one drinks the tap water, not even Thai people.
- You can find old metal workout strucures, ie elipticals and things of that nature at most parks, free aerobics classes are offered nightly as well.
- They keep live fish at the market in big tubs. A customer will select the fish they want and the vendor will then place it on a large wooden cutting board where it is then bludgeoned to death, descaled, and gutted within 20 seconds. Quite impressive honestly.
- You can find fruit vendors on most street corners. They usually sell ice cold watermelon, mango, pineapple and apple guavas, which they will cut up for you on the spot. Let me tell you, when most days are 90~ degrees, that fruit tastes mighty refreshing. For the more exotic stuff like durian, jack fruit, mangosteen, rambutan, you must go the market.
- They also sell exotic animals! Squirrels, sugar gliders, parrots, hedgehogs, and many other things that are illegal in the US. I seriously want to adopt.
- Thais loveeee their whiskey, and will brew their own. They also drink white whiskey which is probably the most foul thing on this planet apparently gives you cancer, so I stay away from the stuff.
- Scaffodling at construction sites is almost always made of rough hewn wood.
- If you want to look up a bus schedule, ha, think again! Buses come and go so frequently that people just tend to show up an hour before and see what ia available. Googling this information is a farangs pipe dream.
- Sometimes you will run into elephants walking down the street, and you can pay to give them bits of bamboo. This a very controversial subject, because often times, the elephants have been beaten into submission. I usually just try and act like a dumb white girl and "oooh" and "ahhhh" and give them a nice pet and try and psychicly communicate that not all humans are cruel, no real way to know if it gets through or not lol.
- People are generally very very kind.
- When you think Thai salads, you think lime, cilantro ginger goodness right???? Well I have yet to find such a thing in this part of Thailand. Without fail, the dressing served with EVERY salad is this strange yellowish super sweet mayonnaise like substance, in other words, disgusting. The salads themselves are good, the dressing is just a real bummer. I managed to find some balsamic dressing at Tesco which I use instead.
- The stoplights here are definitely strange. Below the light is a timer so you can see how long you will be waiting, although traffic is confusing and I still have yet to figure it out fully. It seems to come from all directions at all times. Traffic rules are more of a suggestion than a law.
- Sidewalks are rather inconsistent. They are there one moment and then disappear the next. Because Thailand receives so much rain, they are also hollow, so water can drain down beneath them, which adds some hazards. I was walking in Kon Khaen last weekend, it was dark and I was snaking my way through a bunch of mopeds and I tripped on the sidewalk. I thought nothing of it, but as I continued walking I felt my toe getting wet. I put my foot in the light and my sandal is bathed in blood. So much that it glowed red against my black sandal. I have no idea what happened but moral of the story is that sidewalks wreak havoc.
- I have seen more geckos than bugs here. They are EVERYWHERE at all times. There seem to be two main types that I have seen. The cute little ones that only seem to grow about five inches long, and can be found at all light bulbs and the giant Tokay geckos. OMG google these creatures, they are so creepy (beautiful but creepy)!!!! They are bright blue and orange and have huge yellow eyes, and they make this noise "TO-KAY, TO-KAY" When I was having my insomnia days, I first hallucinated that there was one over my bed ( I tend to hallucinate when I am half asleep), then auditory hallucinated its creepy call, and I freaked out and ran out of my room. Now some of you are saying, Neens it probably was in your room. No it was not, I searched high and low.
- Snack flavors here are WEIRD. They have squid flavored chips, seaweed flavored chips, red bean buns (a sweet red bean paste in a bun), sweet dried cherry tomatoes, and a whole lot of others things I can't think of right now. Oh and there are NO healthy snack options. I walk through the rows of food at the school store and every single item has the nutritional benefits of cardboard with a few table spoons of sugar.
- Bananas grow wild in the forest.
- It appears most Thai restaurants offer the EXACT SAME DISHES ALWAYS. There really is not much variety in the cuisine here. When you go out to eat the waiters will promptly come to your table and wait for you to make a decision. We suspect it is because most Thai people already know what they want because all Thai restaurants are the same. This also happens when you are shopping in stores, the employee will literally stand 2 feet away from you, silently gazing at you. You just gotta go wit it.
- That reminds me, EVERYONE STARESSSSSSSS AT YOU. EVERYONE, ALWAYS. Man, woman, child, dog, cat, gecko, cockroach. And not a subtle stare, like a slowing of the car, full 180 degree head rotation kind of stare.
- People are obsessed with Facebook. Kids update their statuses hourly and post SO MANY SELFIES. Everyone likes every single post of everybody, so these Thai students have like 200 likes on a status about eating, or a feeling sad, it's pretty ridiculous.
- Seven eleven is like this strange Godsend that I never knew I would appreciate so much. They have all these super random weird services that are so so useful! We get payed in cash, mainly in 1000 Baht bills, and no one will break them cause they are so big, but 7 will!! Also you can buy plane tickets online and then pay for them in cash at 7. They are open 24/7 and always blessedly air-conditioned. If you are working in Thailand you need to report to the immigration office every 90 days, but now 7 is taking on that responsibility and apparently you can report there instead. Which is nice cause there is a 7 on most street corners.
- Thai's have really nailed many many food dishes, but baked goods are not one of them. They are usually very dry and crumbly. They do have the strangest deserts though. Lots of weird gelatinous rice things. They also have like a sweet soup, the broth is coconut milk, and then there are chunks of like jelly and sweet roots, it sounds disgusting but it is actually super good.
- I don't think people here have heard of floor lamps. All lighting is provided by the heinous harsh glare of 3 foot fluorescent lightbulbs, always, everywhere.
- A traditional Isan(the region I am in) meal consists sticky rice, Som Tam (green papaya salad), grilled chicken, a whole grilled fish that has been crusted in salt and then bbqued, super delish, some yummy dipping sauces, rice noodles, a basket of greens( lettuce, cabbage, basil, green onions) that are meant to be dipped in the sauce, and a bottle of coke. Everyone takes small portions and shares everything. I have really grown fond of this meal.
- Street dogs run the streets. It's literally just like gangs. Dogs have their territories and their friends and they will defend them. Especially when everyone is in heat and hornier than a rabbit on Easter. As some of you saw, I was chased by a few, and I have found the more you speed up, the more they have a desire to kill. So I have found toodeling by at a slow, unoffensive speed seems to be most effective
- Like I wrote in some other posts, Thai nightclubs are the weirdest. The room is set up with tons of little tables that you stand around, and drink bad drinks and look around. Half of the night, they will play live music (still adjusting to Thai music.... here is a link of a popular song right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flnk4A69_4A&list=PL3W0gfvebxGO1Gl3uXTRnvSzMNGhJczSd&index=1) and half the night they will play dj stuff. I must admit the DJ sets are usually really catchy and super fun to dance to, which would be great and all IF THERE WAS A DANCEFLOOR. People, there is no dance floor at most Thai night clubs........ WHErE IS THE LOGIC, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE. So yea, the main reason I like going out is to dance, so it's a real bummer.
- They love sweetened condensed milk, period. On everything and in everything.
- No one drinks the tap water, not even Thai people.
- You can find old metal workout strucures, ie elipticals and things of that nature at most parks, free aerobics classes are offered nightly as well.
- They keep live fish at the market in big tubs. A customer will select the fish they want and the vendor will then place it on a large wooden cutting board where it is then bludgeoned to death, descaled, and gutted within 20 seconds. Quite impressive honestly.
- You can find fruit vendors on most street corners. They usually sell ice cold watermelon, mango, pineapple and apple guavas, which they will cut up for you on the spot. Let me tell you, when most days are 90~ degrees, that fruit tastes mighty refreshing. For the more exotic stuff like durian, jack fruit, mangosteen, rambutan, you must go the market.
- They also sell exotic animals! Squirrels, sugar gliders, parrots, hedgehogs, and many other things that are illegal in the US. I seriously want to adopt.
- Thais loveeee their whiskey, and will brew their own. They also drink white whiskey which is probably the most foul thing on this planet apparently gives you cancer, so I stay away from the stuff.
- Scaffodling at construction sites is almost always made of rough hewn wood.
- If you want to look up a bus schedule, ha, think again! Buses come and go so frequently that people just tend to show up an hour before and see what ia available. Googling this information is a farangs pipe dream.
- Sometimes you will run into elephants walking down the street, and you can pay to give them bits of bamboo. This a very controversial subject, because often times, the elephants have been beaten into submission. I usually just try and act like a dumb white girl and "oooh" and "ahhhh" and give them a nice pet and try and psychicly communicate that not all humans are cruel, no real way to know if it gets through or not lol.
- Monks are not allowed to touch women, so seating on public transportation must sometimes be rearranged to accomodate.
- Creepy old falang men come here and marry cute young Thai women. It is such a thing!!!!!! They are everywhere and they are always blond, and fat and gross. We will be in the most rural places and the only white people to be found are these men. EVERYWHERE. I understand some people really do marry for love and whatnot but in general you can tell there are other motives behind the marriage cause normally there ain't no way in a hell men like these could get women like those (yes I am SO mean, I'm sorry).
- Rainy season is aptly named. Even with the drainage infrastructure, streets turn into rivers. I was recording a video of it, and these hooligans rode by on their mopeds and splashed water all over me!!!!!! (I loved it) My bathroom has flooded a few times, drenching my toilet paper supplies... cool. I have also heard that critters come up through the drains to say hello (mainly frogs). I have yet to encounter this.
- Along with dogs, cockroaches run the streets at night. I'm not even kidding. I will just be walking down the street and see like 10 crossing the road. And I'm talking honkin cockroaches the kind that will really crunch when you step on it by accident as it runs underneath your foot. (I have yet to encounter this)
- Basically just living each day in Thailand, one produces COPIOUS amounts of plastic waste. It is simply shocking. Items are rarely sold in bulk and even the things sold in bulk, such as crackers, are INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED, what is this???? So for breakfast if I just want yogurt and peanuts, I will have a yogurt cup, and a bag of like 10 peanuts, which had I not protested would have been in a plastic bag with a plastic wrapped plastic spoon. Our office sometimes provides instant coffee, and you guessed it, individually wrapped spawn of satans. Unfortunately there is a lack of education about these issues, so most people aren't aware of the profound impact they make every single day. I often try and imagine a gigantic dump truck filled with all the trash Thailand produced that day, and how much land area it would cover. I don't think I could even begin to fathom that.
- The BANE of my existence. PLASTIC BAGS. BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS ON BAGS. This country LOVE PLASTIC BAGS and it hurts my heart. It is such a struggle.. They will give you a bag for anything. When you buy a pen, when you buy a chocolate bar, when you buy fruit that has already been bagged in one bag, but they want to make sure you have extra support so they then bag that bag. Oh. my. god. Last week, I bought an iced coffee, and no surprise, they put it in a plastic bag, I said oh what the hell fine, so I was biking on along to school, I go over a speed bump and the bag rips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You just put this foul awful thing that is a plastic bag into the wor4ld for approximately 2 minutes only to have it rip and spill my coffee in front of all my students. GREAT, REAL GREAT. I can't, I just can't. (side note- apparently it is becoming trendy to have your ice coffee bagged, which is then placed in a paper bag, which is then placed in another plastic bag ..... I mean... is this a joke????) And usually I am able to indicate that I do not want a bag, and when I do, they look taken aback, sometimes positively offended. It's like bagging things is ingrained into the genetic code. When I first got here it really really bothered me, because the bags are so very temporary yet they have such lasting, and damaging effects. I have gotten more used to it, but any time I can avoid them I do.
- The photos you see of rice fields in Thailand? Those are accurate. The area surrounding Kalasin is simply beautiful.
- Water buffalos are awfully cute.
- Thais have beautiful bone structure and good skin.
- Super ornate, colorful temples are found everywhere, along with ENORMOUS Buddhas, like 60 feet tall kind of enormous.
So there you have it, some observations that I could have never even fathomed before coming here.
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