INSOMNIA and LOUD APARTMENTS

When I was very young, all before the age of 7 I dealt with pretty bad insomnia (I had a neurotic childhood, all thanks to myself haha).  And then, one day, I figured out what worked for me, and ever since, sleeping has been a non issue.  Up until the past few days that is……..

For some reason, I having been having such trouble slowing down my mind.  I practice all the things that usually work back home and to no avail.  As those who have struggled with insomnia know, it is a vicious cycle, in which you the more you need to sleep, the more focused on it you become, and in turn you push that coveted sleep further and further away.  It is hot here, obviously, and I have been sleeping with the fan, which is helpful but LOUD.  So in my stressed state, I’m like, oh well I guess I’ll use the air conditioner, but then THAT stresses me out as well because it’s INSANELY expensive to use.  So then the 10:30 becomes 12:30 which becomes 2:00 and I’m just lyin in that bed, unable to shut down my annoying mind. 

The feng shue of this place is also alllll out of wack.  My room feels so very cave like, which is only further emphasized by the single florescent tube that casts this hospital-like light over my place of rest.  There is an enormous dresser to one side of the room, while the rest of the space is taken up by the worlds LARGEST freaking bed (which I don’t mind haha).  On Friday, I wanted to rearrange the furniture, just get a better vibe.  I pulled the dresser away and tried to push it out into the front room.  It was literally ONE centimeter too long and would not be moved past the hallway.  So there goes that plan.  But then I thought, oh well I can try rearranging the bed.  False.  The bed is too ginormous, and even though I could physically move it, the space of the room allowed no such adjustments.  So that was a time.  Also, in the process of moving these pieces of furniture that probably had not been moved in years, I uncovered some verrrryyyyy foul veryyyyy old dirt and dustbunnies from milleniums past.  About the lighting, I did find some twinkle lights at a market, and that helps SO MUCH.  They just add such a nice warm light to the place.  But yea, the energy of the apartment doesn’t help the sleep sitch.

As some of you know, there is a construction site FIVE FEET from my window, which DOES NOT CLOSE.  It is just a giant open space (8x6 feet) with screen and chainlink and allows every possible amount of noise right into my apartment!!!!!!  And because my apartment is somewhat cavernous, with linoleum floors, concrete walls, and very high ceilings, those noises not only enter the apartment, they are then amplified exponentially.  The acoustics of this place are ridiculous, probably more efficient than a Greek amphitheater I’m not even kidding.  Not only is there construction, but the people building the structure live on site.  So as I’m doing my morning routine, I can peer out the window and make eye contact with a 45 year old Thai man, who is eating his breakfast about 5 feet away.  I’m all for getting involved with the community but this is a bit much people. 

ANYWAYS, during those sleepless nights, as 1:00 becomes 2:00 and 2:00 becomes 2:30 I then get stressed out because I know the two resident roosters at the construction site will begin competitively crowing at about 3:30 or 4:00.  Freaking men, there aren’t even any hens to impress you bloody idiots!!!! And once that starts, to hell with sleep.  I am not kidding, these roosters crow, on average every 10-15 seconds. IT’S ABSURD.  And thanks to the acoustics of my apartment and the well practiced healthy vocal chords of the roosters, their crow can literally penetrate a 4 foot thick concrete bomb bunker.  And in the wee small hours of the morning, when all you want is sweet serenity, the crow of a rooster is probably THE MOST grating noise you have ever heard.  Nothing can tune those bastards out.  Unless you play music at an unhealthy volume level which only further impedes your journey into dreamland.  Also, I finally found earplugs (hallelujah) but WHAT THE HECK PEOPLE.  I don’t know if Thai ear canals are different or what but these are probably the most ineffective earplugs I’ve ever encountered.  They are extremely long and thin, and there is no way to effectively burrow them deep into your ear.  So they almost feel worse than having no earplugs at all, because you are aware you have a device to block sound but it is utterly useless. 

Basically, I think I am experiencing the culture shock crash that most people go through when they move to another country.  My life back home has faded a little bit, and I’m still in the process of getting established over here, so all the stresses that I can normally deal with, hold a bit more weight.  I don’t have the comforts of a routine or established life to distract me.  Since these events I’m already feeling much better, and I even got a full nine hours in last night!  The knowledge that this an adjustment, and a process, really helps. Okay bye!